
"The science of feeling safe enough to fall in love with life and take the risks of living" - Deb Dana.
To begin to regulate our nervous system first we need to understand how the nervous system functions and the part it plays in how we experience ourselves, others and the world. What I am sharing is based on Polyvagal theory the science of connection developed by Stephen Porges in 1994.
The autonomic nervous system
The autonomic nervous system is a part of the central nervous system responsible for controlling our involuntary functions such as respiration, heart rhythm and rate, blood pressure, digestion, body temperature and the use of energy. This system also controls and mobilises our survival responses of fight or flight, fawn, freeze, shutdown and social engagement, impacting our physiology, our ability to socially engage with others and felt sense of safety.
The branches – parasympathetic and sympathetic
The autonomic nervous system has two branches, one is the parasympathetic nervous system and the other is the sympathetic nervous system. A key part of the parasympathetic nervous system is the vagus nerve which has two pathways, the ventral vagus and the doral vagus.

Within the autonomic nervous system there are three main states:
Safety and social engagement (Ventral Vagal – parasympathetic)
Fight or flight & fawn (sympathetic)
Shutdown and freeze (Dorsal vagal – parasympathetic)
The fight or flight, freeze, fawn and shutdown are automatic survival responses which increase our chances of survival when we are faced with danger. The ventral vagus increases our chances of survival by activating our social engagement system allowing us to connect with others, for example our ancestors were much more likely to survive when they were accepted into a group or tribe.
The three states each have a continuum with a range of symptoms and responses, from the more extreme to the functional day to day. The below breaks down each state with some of the qualities, symptoms and responses that can be experienced in the mind and body.

Neuroception – Inner surveillance system
The term neuroception was coined by Stephen Porges. To understand neuroception we can think of it as our internal surveillance system always working in the background assessing for danger or safety. This detection then activates pathways of connection or protection. This is all happening outside of our awareness and beyond our conscious control, like an involuntary instantaneous reflex. This scanning is happening through three streams, in our external environment, internally inside the body and with others in our relationships.
The survival responses of sympathetic activation and dorsal vagal become active when our neuroception senses a threat, and the safe and social ventral vagal when our neuroception senses cues of safety. The nervous system acts in service of our survival and the mind makes the meaning following the state in which the nervous system is in. As the nervous system adjusts from one state to the other, the thoughts and feelings will follow and reflect that state. Understanding our nervous system responses and the role of neuroception helps us to let go of self-shaming stories such as “I shouldn’t react the way I do" "I am broken" and "there is something wrong with me”.
How the nervous system and neuroception are shaped
In our early years our caregiver's nervous systems are interacting with and shaping our own nervous systems. Predominately in early childhood but up to the age of 25, our nervous system is still developing. Our experiences of coregulation or lack of coregulation will directly influence how our nervous system develops and functions. With enough co-regulation we would develop a resilient nervous system that would learn how to self-regulate through the experiences of co-regulation.
Trauma wires the autonomic nervous system towards protection instead of connection and adaptive survival responses replace one’s ability to socially engage and feel connected. Unresolved trauma can keep our neuroception sensing danger in the present keeping us feeling stuck in a survival response. Trauma is not only what happens to us but also what didn’t happen. For example, did we feel seen, heard and valued? Were we supported in our creativity? Were our emotions validated? Did we have support with processing and expressing our emotions? Did we feel accepted and loved for who we were?
If we experienced trauma or our needs were not met, we may be living with a dysregulated nervous system predominately functioning from sympathetic and/or dorsal vagal with limited access to our ventral vagal state. It is important to note that dysregualtion can also be caused and is impacted by chronic stress, nutritional deficiencies, lack of sleep and environmental toxins. Living with chronic dysregulation increases the likelihood of symptoms in the body and of illness, as the function of the immune, digestive, endocrine, cardiac and muscular-skeletal systems are all impacted.
Rewiring our nervous system
It is possible to reverse nervous system dysregulation and develop a resilient and flexible nervous system through the power of neuroplasticity. We cannot think ourselves into safety as it is not a cognitive process but instead a physiological and embodied one. We need to create safety and find more ventral vagal by changing our state, we can do this through co-regulation, self-regulation and taking a holistic approach.
Coregulation is when the comfort of another’s ventral vagal state and unconscious cues of safety are picked up helping our own nervous system come back into a regulated state. Self-regulation is when we develop our ventral vagal tone by ourselves, we can do this using tools and resources that encourage the activation of our ventral vagal state. Taking a holistic approach includes considering how other brain-body systems, our environment and how our conscious and subconscious beliefs might be contributing to dysregulation.
The more we experience regulation the nervous system rewires and returns to a predominate state of safety and connection. Our ability to shift in-between states and return to ventral vagal will also build, increasing our resilience and ability to bounce back from stress. The nervous system rewires through experiencing and finding safety in small ways little but often. It is the consistency and repetition of co-regulation experiences and self-regulation that tones the ventral vagus nerve increasing ventral vagal activation. In time we gradually move from states of protection into states of connection and may find relief from the physical, emotional and mental symptoms of dysregulation. Deeper levels of healing also become possible as the more regulation we have in our system the more we are able to process and release the stuck energy and repressed emotions trapped in our subconscious and body.
Work with me
If you are interested in learning more about how I can support you in healing and regulating your nervous system click here to read more about my approach to therapy or get in contact for a free therapy consultation.
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